If you've ever had the experience of feeling unheard, you know how incredibly frustrating it can be. You try to share your thoughts or feelings, but they fall on deaf ears. It's as if you're not even there. This can lead to a range of negative emotions, including anger and frustration. Let's explore one of the hidden causes of angry outbursts and offer some solutions for overcoming this problem.
When we feel like no one is listening to us, the frustration builds up and we explode with whatever means we think we can use to get attention. Some people scream, some go cold, silent, and distant, and some threaten or have ugly facial expressions.
We often explode on the safest ones that we think will still love us amid our mess. This can include our children. The problem is that if we push them too often, we put those relationships in jeopardy.
Here are some reasons why you may feel like no one is listening to you:
1) You may have trained your children to not answer right away by repeating yourself over and over until they respond. Then you explode because they are only doing what they were trained to do.
2) You might not be a good listener yourself, which makes others not want to listen to you either.
3) You may be married to a passive spouse who leaves you feeling unprotected and alone. Often passive spouses are consumed with their thoughts and don't hear or respond.
4) You may have been taught that children are to be seen and not heard, which made you stifle your emotions and feelings, and now you find it difficult to express yourself to others.
5) You may be stuck in a negative communication cycle (gossip, complaining, grumbling) which has turned people away. Now you need to overcome that cycle and prove yourself again.
If you find yourself feeling unheard, there are some things that you can do to change the situation. First, take a step back and examine your communication style. Are you repeating yourself? Is your tone of voice respectful?
Next, try to be a better listener yourself. Make it a point to hear what the other person is saying.
Lastly, try to find ways to open up and express yourself in a healthy way.
If you're feeling anger and frustration, take some time to cool down before responding. This will help you to avoid saying or doing something that you'll regret later.
If you're struggling with feeling unheard, know that you're not alone. This is a common problem that can be overcome with some effort and patience. With a little bit of work, you can learn to communicate in a way that will be heard loud and clear.
Do you ever feel unheard? How do you deal with it? We'd love to hear from you in the comments!
If anger has become a problem, I'd love to help! Sign up for an Anointed to Soar session to get to the root and find freedom! Click HERE to learn more about that!
Violet loved her garden. It was a place of peace and beauty, a refuge from the busy world. But lately, she had been allowing the weeds to take over. The plants were choking out the flowers, stealing their sunlight and water.
At first, Violet didn't notice. She was too busy with work and family obligations. But as time passed, she began to feel a growing sense of sadness and frustration. The garden that once brought her so much joy was now a source of bitterness and anger.
The bitterness and anger began to overcome everything that used to bring her joy. The happy memories from childhood, the love she shared with her husband, the life they were creating together; all of it was overshadowed by this darkness that seemed to consume her. She would often find herself alone in the middle of the night, weeping for no reason she could understand.
One morning, as she was getting ready for work, she caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror and barely recognized the woman staring back at her. She looked tired and broken, like a shadow of her former self. With a heavy heart, she realized that things had gotten so bad that she didn't even recognize herself anymore.
Violet decided to go to her favorite place that had always brought peace.
The closer she got to the top of the hill, the more her heart raced. She loved this spot; it was where she came to think and clear her head. But today, something was different. The usually calming view only made her feel angrier. The bitterness and anger began to overcome everything that used to bring her joy. She sat down and let out a deep sigh, wondering what had gone wrong.
It wasn't long before she heard someone coming up the hill behind her. She turned around, prepared to give them a piece of her mind for interrupting her peace, but stopped short when she saw it was him. He had always been there for her when she needed him, even when she didn't want him.
Her heart recognized that the One that was always there for her, was also the One who had the answer for the weeds.
Those weeds could have been an opportunity to learn how to overcome, but she had allowed the weeds to become her joy stealers. She had lost sight of the big picture of the garden.
As she allowed herself to find peace in His Presence, the anger about the weeds began to melt away. She chose to be grateful for the little annoyances that had a purpose in helping her character grow into the person she had been praying to be.
Violet returned to her garden with new eyes. The weeds that before had looked so overwhelming, now had a purpose. She set herself down with her garden tools and a peaceful smile across her face.
Have the little annoyances been stealing your joy? Or have you been able to be grateful for the weeds? I'd love to hear if this has been a grateful season for you, or if you are struggling to find your joy.