Sometimes it is difficult to know if there has been trauma from our past that we are still carrying. Many of us have experienced some kind of trauma in our lives, and it can be tough to tell what is hurting us and what isn't. This post will explore three ways to help you figure out if you need help releasing past wounds. If you find that your memories are causing you pain, don't hesitate to reach out for help.
First, are you walking around with self-blame, guilt, and sadness a good portion of your day, and you just don't know why? Stuffed emotions can show up as harsh thoughts toward ourselves and others that can keep us from enjoying daily life.
Is there a thought that regularly pops into your head that you are not as good as others or that you don't deserve good things? You might have stuffed hurts from your past that made you feel less than others.
Next, are you sick a lot? Harsh memories and forgotten but undealt with trauma, can cause inflammation. It might show up as stomach problems, pain, or muscle aches. Any chronic health issues may have an emotional component that should be explored.
Do you feel the need to escape? Do you want to escape conflict, or your thoughts, or even day to day life? This might show up as food addictions, or the constant need to be on social media or watching TV, or wanting to sleep constantly. This usually means there is something hurting you that you are trying to not think about.
Even when you have no idea what the trauma could be, if you are seeing any of these symptoms of stuffed trauma, we can get to the root of it and find out where it is coming from.
Reach out to me if you want help finding the root. https://eileencjones.com/
Reach out to me if you want help finding the root. https://eileencjones.com/
I regularly find myself telling my husband that he might see better if he cleaned his glasses. He’ll come home at the end of a workday with so many scratches and smudges that I can’t even imagine how he made it through the day.
He'll take them off, clean them well, then say, “Ahh! That’s better!” and we’ll both have a good laugh that he didn’t even notice how dirty they were.
He'll take them off, clean them well, then say, “Ahh! That’s better!” and we’ll both have a good laugh that he didn’t even notice how dirty they were.
But we all look at the world through damaged lenses on a regular basis without even realizing that our lenses are scratched, smudged, and even sometimes completely shattered. We walk along thinking we’re seeing things as they really are, but our vision is skewed by the damage.
Have your glasses been scratched by rejection? Shattered by abuse? Dinged by loneliness?
Have your glasses been scratched by rejection? Shattered by abuse? Dinged by loneliness?
We get so used to living with wounds and trauma that we think we’ve dealt with it all just because we stuffed it down and don’t think about it.
The person wearing rejection colored glasses might see everything based on the viewpoint that people are just going to dislike them anyway, so what’s the use?
The person wearing rejection colored glasses might see everything based on the viewpoint that people are just going to dislike them anyway, so what’s the use?
Bitterness colored lenses keep us from seeing good in people and from finding hope for the future.
Looking through lenses of shame always makes us run and hide from life, wanting to avoid people and situations that might make us get hurt again.
The problem is that most of us don’t even know our lenses are skewed! If we don’t know there is a problem, we won’t do anything to fix it.
But signs that our glasses are damaged are in the everyday response to life.
We blow up at our children, avoid people, feel sad, judge people, feel left out, can’t accept love, shut off communication, break relationships…
But signs that our glasses are damaged are in the everyday response to life.
We blow up at our children, avoid people, feel sad, judge people, feel left out, can’t accept love, shut off communication, break relationships…
These are all because we don’t even recognize that we are looking at our world through lies.
Finding the lie (the color of your lenses) is the first step in overcoming the view you have of the world that is keeping you back from hope and joy.
If you aren’t seeing the truth through clear lenses, you don’t even know what you’re missing!
Anointed to Soar is a healing session that reveals the lies you’ve believed in that have tinted your world view. You can learn more about that HERE
Finding the lie (the color of your lenses) is the first step in overcoming the view you have of the world that is keeping you back from hope and joy.
If you aren’t seeing the truth through clear lenses, you don’t even know what you’re missing!
Anointed to Soar is a healing session that reveals the lies you’ve believed in that have tinted your world view. You can learn more about that HERE
It started yesterday with an assumption…
I assumed that if there were an empty dishwasher, that people would have a place other than the counter to put their dirty dishes.
I’m not sure why I assumed this, since I am getting up there in years, and it has never worked before. And we all know that doing the same thing but expecting a different result is not wise.
So when I woke up to a counter full of slimy, scummy, disgusting dishes that I then put in the dishwasher, the anxiety began to rise in me!
I assumed that if there were an empty dishwasher, that people would have a place other than the counter to put their dirty dishes.
I’m not sure why I assumed this, since I am getting up there in years, and it has never worked before. And we all know that doing the same thing but expecting a different result is not wise.
So when I woke up to a counter full of slimy, scummy, disgusting dishes that I then put in the dishwasher, the anxiety began to rise in me!
First, why was I even putting other people’s dishes in the washer? Because I was sick of asking other people to do it. And I was upset that they didn’t just do it when I have asked for the last 33 years every single day. But of course, they won’t do it, if I do it! Silly me! I know this but am so tired of the conversation that I end up doing it anyway.
Back to the anxiety… I was getting more and more angry about it this morning. I was about to blow, and I knew it!
So instead of blowing, I’ve learned a trick in the last years that has made a HUGE difference for how my days turn out.
I stop and ask myself, why is this making me so angry? What belief system do I have that is connected to my family not putting their dirty dishes in the dishwasher that then causes such extreme irritability?
Back to the anxiety… I was getting more and more angry about it this morning. I was about to blow, and I knew it!
So instead of blowing, I’ve learned a trick in the last years that has made a HUGE difference for how my days turn out.
I stop and ask myself, why is this making me so angry? What belief system do I have that is connected to my family not putting their dirty dishes in the dishwasher that then causes such extreme irritability?
The answer was, I believe that they think I am not as important as they are, that all I’m good for as a person is to clean up after them.
Since I clarified the belief system, then I could search for the memory that caused me to believe this… the memory was a time when I had asked so many times for people to put their dishes in, and no one was doing it. A time when I had 7 children at home, instead of the 2 that are here now, and so the house was always covered in dirty dishes. One day instead of using my brain and giving the task back to whom it belonged, I allowed the anxiety to rise so high that I smashed my favorite water bottle and then screamed at my son and told him it was his fault that I broke the water bottle because he made me so angry.
Yes, I knew I was being childish, yes, I knew it was my fault for not handling the situation correctly. Nothing good came from that day. And I still hold myself guilty over it, so I must not have received closure yet by apologizing appropriately and allowing the memory to be healed instead of stuffed.
Since I clarified the belief system, then I could search for the memory that caused me to believe this… the memory was a time when I had asked so many times for people to put their dishes in, and no one was doing it. A time when I had 7 children at home, instead of the 2 that are here now, and so the house was always covered in dirty dishes. One day instead of using my brain and giving the task back to whom it belonged, I allowed the anxiety to rise so high that I smashed my favorite water bottle and then screamed at my son and told him it was his fault that I broke the water bottle because he made me so angry.
Yes, I knew I was being childish, yes, I knew it was my fault for not handling the situation correctly. Nothing good came from that day. And I still hold myself guilty over it, so I must not have received closure yet by apologizing appropriately and allowing the memory to be healed instead of stuffed.
The next step after finding the belief system attached to the anxious response, then finding the memory that brought the belief, is to take an oil (in the case of anxiety, Ylang Ylang is a good one), smelling it deeply, speaking the truth, “My family loves me and believes I am valuable” and then dealing with the memory by going to the person I’ve hurt and apologizing appropriately.
When I do this every time some form of irritability or anxiety rises in me, then I don’t have the constant stress responses to irritating things.
See, the answer wasn’t just to ask them again to do their dishes, because the response came from a much deeper place than just dishes.
That is how we stuff things and make ourselves sick! When we just take our response at face value and don’t try to figure out why we respond they way we do, these feelings end up deep down inside our cells and lead to inflammation and sickness.
If you have stress responses, and need help figuring out how to find the belief, the memory, and then the proper response, go make an appointment on my website HERE for an Anointed to Soar session!
When I do this every time some form of irritability or anxiety rises in me, then I don’t have the constant stress responses to irritating things.
See, the answer wasn’t just to ask them again to do their dishes, because the response came from a much deeper place than just dishes.
That is how we stuff things and make ourselves sick! When we just take our response at face value and don’t try to figure out why we respond they way we do, these feelings end up deep down inside our cells and lead to inflammation and sickness.
If you have stress responses, and need help figuring out how to find the belief, the memory, and then the proper response, go make an appointment on my website HERE for an Anointed to Soar session!
Have you ever passed a truck on the highway, and as you were looking at it, you started drifting toward it? We are wired for our body to follow our head, and for our head to follow our eyes.
So if your eyes are focused on the truck beside you instead of the road in front of you, you will drift toward the truck!
The order of movement is eyes, then head, then body. Or, in other words, focus, then thoughts, then actions. All dancers and athletes know this, you must first put your eyes in the direction you’re moving, or you will fail miserably! When a dancer is spinning, she must keep her eyes focused ahead, or dizziness will set in that leads to a FALL!
If your eyes are looking behind you because you are regretting the past, brooding over mistakes, or wondering what you’ve missed, your head (thoughts, emotions, choices, and attitudes) will be focused on the past instead of moving forward. If your focus and thoughts are somewhere in the past, your day to day activities will not bring you to a desired goal. You can’t move forward if you are focused behind.
This doesn’t mean we don’t work through past trauma or wounds. It doesn’t mean we ignore mistakes, or stuff down emotions thinking we are taking our thoughts captive! We must take action to work through the trauma, forgive the wounds, learn from the mistakes! But once we have done the work, then it is time to change focus!
The same is true of making good choices. Some choices may have to be left behind as you keep your eyes focused on your goal. This doesn’t mean you are against that choice you are leaving behind; it means the other choice is better! If you are dividing your focus between the two, you will not move toward either.
So if your eyes are focused on the truck beside you instead of the road in front of you, you will drift toward the truck!
The order of movement is eyes, then head, then body. Or, in other words, focus, then thoughts, then actions. All dancers and athletes know this, you must first put your eyes in the direction you’re moving, or you will fail miserably! When a dancer is spinning, she must keep her eyes focused ahead, or dizziness will set in that leads to a FALL!
If your eyes are looking behind you because you are regretting the past, brooding over mistakes, or wondering what you’ve missed, your head (thoughts, emotions, choices, and attitudes) will be focused on the past instead of moving forward. If your focus and thoughts are somewhere in the past, your day to day activities will not bring you to a desired goal. You can’t move forward if you are focused behind.
This doesn’t mean we don’t work through past trauma or wounds. It doesn’t mean we ignore mistakes, or stuff down emotions thinking we are taking our thoughts captive! We must take action to work through the trauma, forgive the wounds, learn from the mistakes! But once we have done the work, then it is time to change focus!
The same is true of making good choices. Some choices may have to be left behind as you keep your eyes focused on your goal. This doesn’t mean you are against that choice you are leaving behind; it means the other choice is better! If you are dividing your focus between the two, you will not move toward either.
This might make boundaries necessary. Some people may not understand that you are not rejecting one choice, you are just putting the other choice in focus! Protect your choices and goals like a precious seed! Surround yourself with the waterers, move away from the tramplers for a time until your seed is firmly rooted. Then you will be strong to be a light to those who are so wounded that they desire to trample.
Here are the steps to moving forward:
2) Discern the direction you’re supposed to be going. What is supposed to be your current focus and plan.
3) Find the activities you are involved in that are hindering you from moving forward, figure out what can be set aside for a time. (This doesn’t include obligations to faith, family, friends, and self!)
4) Set your goals and intentions and write it everywhere! Remind yourself by writing it wherever you will see it! And tell people! This keeps it fresh in your mind.
5) Set a boundary. What will you do if something gets in the way of your goal? Have a protection plan in place and surround yourself with waterers (people who will encourage your dream).
6) Eyes forward, thoughts forward, body forward… and RUN!!!!
If your goal is to help others heal, check out this link HERE!
Before we were believers there was a battle in the heavenlies over our Salvation.
But once that salvation occurred, the battle shifted to a different ground.
Now the fight is over TRUTH! Will we believe God, read His Word, trust what He says, and recognize our purpose?
If there has been any damage or wounding in your life, (and who has not been wounded or damaged somehow?) then at this point you may get in a battle over whether you are worthy to be happy, free, or even at peace!
After salvation the battle shifts toward rooting out the damage that we have done, or that has been done to us, so that peace and calm can now be restored. We may have heard the lie that life is all about drudgery and just getting by, or even that we are supposed to suffer daily! We might not understand that life is about freedom, beauty, a happy family, abundance, and joy! Yeshua said that He came to heal the broken hearted, bind up their wounds, and to set the captives FREE! That doesn’t sound like drudgery to me!
Even believers who have walked with God for 30 or 40 years seem to think they were meant to be on this earth to suffer. Yes, there may be moments of suffering, because we were told that in this world, we would have tribulation. But we were also told by Yeshua that He came so that we could have life and have it ABUNDANTLY!
Often we ourselves are the ones fighting with the truth. We believe we should be stuck, and we should suffer because we have committed too much damage to enjoy life. We might feel we have been wounded too much to ever be happy.
But what was the point of Yeshua coming as the suffering servant if you are the one who needs to hold the suffering? He said that His yoke is easy, and His burden is light! If you believe you must live a miserable life, then you don’t really know His heart!
So, what is keeping you stuck in the lie that life must be miserable? Is it because it is all you’ve ever known and it is safer than the unknown? Or could it be that you don’t know how to grab ahold of that abundant life you were promised?
Maybe you are scared to lay down those old memories and wounds because you are comfortable with them.
If you are finally ready to lay down those old wounds, memories, and drudgery, I’m here ready and willing to chat and walk you through it so you can walk in freedom, joy and abundance instead of suffering! Click HERE to make an appointment for a free chat! Or just check out my services HERE
But once that salvation occurred, the battle shifted to a different ground.
Now the fight is over TRUTH! Will we believe God, read His Word, trust what He says, and recognize our purpose?
If there has been any damage or wounding in your life, (and who has not been wounded or damaged somehow?) then at this point you may get in a battle over whether you are worthy to be happy, free, or even at peace!
After salvation the battle shifts toward rooting out the damage that we have done, or that has been done to us, so that peace and calm can now be restored. We may have heard the lie that life is all about drudgery and just getting by, or even that we are supposed to suffer daily! We might not understand that life is about freedom, beauty, a happy family, abundance, and joy! Yeshua said that He came to heal the broken hearted, bind up their wounds, and to set the captives FREE! That doesn’t sound like drudgery to me!
Even believers who have walked with God for 30 or 40 years seem to think they were meant to be on this earth to suffer. Yes, there may be moments of suffering, because we were told that in this world, we would have tribulation. But we were also told by Yeshua that He came so that we could have life and have it ABUNDANTLY!
Often we ourselves are the ones fighting with the truth. We believe we should be stuck, and we should suffer because we have committed too much damage to enjoy life. We might feel we have been wounded too much to ever be happy.
But what was the point of Yeshua coming as the suffering servant if you are the one who needs to hold the suffering? He said that His yoke is easy, and His burden is light! If you believe you must live a miserable life, then you don’t really know His heart!
So, what is keeping you stuck in the lie that life must be miserable? Is it because it is all you’ve ever known and it is safer than the unknown? Or could it be that you don’t know how to grab ahold of that abundant life you were promised?
Maybe you are scared to lay down those old memories and wounds because you are comfortable with them.
If you are finally ready to lay down those old wounds, memories, and drudgery, I’m here ready and willing to chat and walk you through it so you can walk in freedom, joy and abundance instead of suffering! Click HERE to make an appointment for a free chat! Or just check out my services HERE
