Relationships are one of the most important aspects of our lives. When they are healthy, we feel fulfilled and complete. But when relationships are struggling, it can be difficult to know what to do to fix them. One of the best things you can do is learn your spouse's love language. Each person has a different way they feel loved and appreciated. Once you understand what fills their love tank the most, you can start using it to heal your relationship!
Here are five reasons why learning your spouse's love language can heal your relationship:
One of the most important things in a relationship is feeling loved and appreciated. When you take the time to learn what motivates and feeds your spouse, you are showing them that you care about their needs and wants. This can be a very powerful way to start rebuilding trust and communication.
Oftentimes, when relationships are struggling, it is because the needs of one or both partners are not being met. If one person responds best to words of affirmation, but they only hear complaining, it will cause them to feel starved for affection and make them feel small and insignificant.
Tension and conflict can cause a breakdown in relationships. Learning your spouse's love language can help you to avoid misunderstandings and arguments. It can also help you to resolve conflicts more effectively. This can lead to a more peaceful and harmonious relationship.
It can be difficult to feel close to someone when you are not sure how they feel about you. When you know if your spouse responds best to words of affirmation, for example, you can show them you care in a language that feeds their deepest needs and shows them that they are important to you.
Learning your spouse's love language can also help you to create new traditions and memories together. This can be a great way to bond and connect on a deeper level. It can also help to keep the spark alive in your relationship!
The five love languages are acts of service, words of affirmation, physical touch, receiving gifts, and quality time. Do you know which one of these fills you the most? Can you also discover the love language of your spouse? How about your children? We'll chat next about how to determine which ones are most needed in your family, and how to make the changes that will bring more harmony to your home.
If you've ever had the experience of feeling unheard, you know how incredibly frustrating it can be. You try to share your thoughts or feelings, but they fall on deaf ears. It's as if you're not even there. This can lead to a range of negative emotions, including anger and frustration. Let's explore one of the hidden causes of angry outbursts and offer some solutions for overcoming this problem.
When we feel like no one is listening to us, the frustration builds up and we explode with whatever means we think we can use to get attention. Some people scream, some go cold, silent, and distant, and some threaten or have ugly facial expressions.
We often explode on the safest ones that we think will still love us amid our mess. This can include our children. The problem is that if we push them too often, we put those relationships in jeopardy.
Here are some reasons why you may feel like no one is listening to you:
1) You may have trained your children to not answer right away by repeating yourself over and over until they respond. Then you explode because they are only doing what they were trained to do.
2) You might not be a good listener yourself, which makes others not want to listen to you either.
3) You may be married to a passive spouse who leaves you feeling unprotected and alone. Often passive spouses are consumed with their thoughts and don't hear or respond.
4) You may have been taught that children are to be seen and not heard, which made you stifle your emotions and feelings, and now you find it difficult to express yourself to others.
5) You may be stuck in a negative communication cycle (gossip, complaining, grumbling) which has turned people away. Now you need to overcome that cycle and prove yourself again.
If you find yourself feeling unheard, there are some things that you can do to change the situation. First, take a step back and examine your communication style. Are you repeating yourself? Is your tone of voice respectful?
Next, try to be a better listener yourself. Make it a point to hear what the other person is saying.
Lastly, try to find ways to open up and express yourself in a healthy way.
If you're feeling anger and frustration, take some time to cool down before responding. This will help you to avoid saying or doing something that you'll regret later.
If you're struggling with feeling unheard, know that you're not alone. This is a common problem that can be overcome with some effort and patience. With a little bit of work, you can learn to communicate in a way that will be heard loud and clear.
Do you ever feel unheard? How do you deal with it? We'd love to hear from you in the comments!
If anger has become a problem, I'd love to help! Sign up for an Anointed to Soar session to get to the root and find freedom! Click HERE to learn more about that!
Have you been fearing the future? Maybe you've been grieving about broken relationships or lost loved ones?
How do you start to feel a shift and process those emotions so that they don't take you down?
Worship is the most difficult yet most beneficial thing you can do when you are grieving, sad, or scared. It is hard to worship and be thankful when you feel like your world is crumbling, but worshiping God in the midst of your pain is what He tells us to do.
Isaiah 61:3 tells us to put on the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness. Why does God use the word garment here?
A garment is a covering, something that surrounds and protects you. One little praise song isn't going to do it. You're going to need to clothe yourself in worship to get over that heaviness.
We're told in Psalm 56:3-4 that when we are afraid we are to put our trust in Him and PRAISE His Word! That praise then brings a shift from fear to faith.
What if you don't want to do it? When you're feeling down, sometimes you want to wallow and close yourself off. This is the worst choice you could make, as that pit will just get deeper and deeper.
Instead, just pick ONE praise song, and then one more, then one more... until you start to feel the shift. I like to pick one praise song that I know I need to hear, then I let my music app choose a playlist from that song so that the praise keeps going.
Worshiping God shows Him that we trust Him, even when everything around us is falling apart. It is an act of faith that says, "God, I may not understand what You are doing, but I trust that You are good and that You have a plan."
Fear is trusting in worry about the future, but faith is trusting in God to orchestrate our future.
When we worship God, we are reminded of His goodness and His faithfulness, even when we can't see it in our current circumstances.
Are you feeling run down and like you can't shake that cold? Are you always battling some kind of infection? If so, your unresolved emotions might be to blame.
stuffed emotions can lead to physical symptoms like:
- Chronic pain
- Headaches
- gastrointestinal problems
- Autoimmune disorders
If you're not sure whether or not you have stuffed emotions, here are some signs to look out for:
-You tend to bottle up your feelings instead of talking about them
-You're constantly stressed
-You feel like you're never good enough
-You have a hard time letting go of things
-You feel like you need to be strong for others
Here are 5 signs that your unresolved emotions are causing you physical problems:
1) You're always getting sick- This could be anything from a cold to more serious infections.
2) Emotional triggers make your symptoms worse- For example, if someone cuts in front of you in line and it makes your heart race, or if a song from your past comes on the radio and brings back painful memories.
3) You have no energy- Along with feeling constantly ill, fatigue is a common symptom of unresolved emotional issues.
4) You're dealing with chronic pain- This can be anything from headaches and migraines to back pain and stomach problems.
5) Insomnia- If you can't seem to get a good night's sleep, it could be because you're holding onto some deep emotional trauma.
Often, stuffed emotions lead to even bigger health problems down the road. Emotions can stay buried for years, even decades!
Throughout the Scriptures, we find hundreds of verses when body parts or systems are mentioned alongside emotions. It seems as though God uses our physical health to point to our Spiritual health to give us clues on what we need to work on!
In an Anointed to Soar session, we gently get to the root of the memories you may not even know you've stuffed! We use clues found in your body and in the Word to get to the root and discover what you've believed that doesn't line up with the truth. We then take the needed steps to help you find freedom instead of leaving you stuck in the memory.
Violet loved her garden. It was a place of peace and beauty, a refuge from the busy world. But lately, she had been allowing the weeds to take over. The plants were choking out the flowers, stealing their sunlight and water.
At first, Violet didn't notice. She was too busy with work and family obligations. But as time passed, she began to feel a growing sense of sadness and frustration. The garden that once brought her so much joy was now a source of bitterness and anger.
The bitterness and anger began to overcome everything that used to bring her joy. The happy memories from childhood, the love she shared with her husband, the life they were creating together; all of it was overshadowed by this darkness that seemed to consume her. She would often find herself alone in the middle of the night, weeping for no reason she could understand.
One morning, as she was getting ready for work, she caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror and barely recognized the woman staring back at her. She looked tired and broken, like a shadow of her former self. With a heavy heart, she realized that things had gotten so bad that she didn't even recognize herself anymore.
Violet decided to go to her favorite place that had always brought peace.
The closer she got to the top of the hill, the more her heart raced. She loved this spot; it was where she came to think and clear her head. But today, something was different. The usually calming view only made her feel angrier. The bitterness and anger began to overcome everything that used to bring her joy. She sat down and let out a deep sigh, wondering what had gone wrong.
It wasn't long before she heard someone coming up the hill behind her. She turned around, prepared to give them a piece of her mind for interrupting her peace, but stopped short when she saw it was him. He had always been there for her when she needed him, even when she didn't want him.
Her heart recognized that the One that was always there for her, was also the One who had the answer for the weeds.
Those weeds could have been an opportunity to learn how to overcome, but she had allowed the weeds to become her joy stealers. She had lost sight of the big picture of the garden.
As she allowed herself to find peace in His Presence, the anger about the weeds began to melt away. She chose to be grateful for the little annoyances that had a purpose in helping her character grow into the person she had been praying to be.
Violet returned to her garden with new eyes. The weeds that before had looked so overwhelming, now had a purpose. She set herself down with her garden tools and a peaceful smile across her face.
Have the little annoyances been stealing your joy? Or have you been able to be grateful for the weeds? I'd love to hear if this has been a grateful season for you, or if you are struggling to find your joy.
