How Learning Your Spouse's Love Language Can Heal Your Relationship

How Learning Your Spouse's Love Language Can Heal Your Relationship
Relationships are one of the most important aspects of our lives. When they are healthy, we feel fulfilled and complete. But when relationships are struggling, it can be difficult to know what to do to fix them. One of the best things you can do is learn your spouse's love language. Each person has a different way they feel loved and appreciated. Once you understand what fills their love tank the most, you can start using it to heal your relationship!

Here are five reasons why learning your spouse's love language can heal your relationship:

One of the most important things in a relationship is feeling loved and appreciated. When you take the time to learn what motivates and feeds your spouse, you are showing them that you care about their needs and wants. This can be a very powerful way to start rebuilding trust and communication.

Oftentimes, when relationships are struggling, it is because the needs of one or both partners are not being met. If one person responds best to words of affirmation, but they only hear complaining, it will cause them to feel starved for affection and make them feel small and insignificant.

Tension and conflict can cause a breakdown in relationships. Learning your spouse's love language can help you to avoid misunderstandings and arguments. It can also help you to resolve conflicts more effectively. This can lead to a more peaceful and harmonious relationship.

It can be difficult to feel close to someone when you are not sure how they feel about you. When you know if your spouse responds best to words of affirmation, for example, you can show them you care in a language that feeds their deepest needs and shows them that they are important to you.

Learning your spouse's love language can also help you to create new traditions and memories together. This can be a great way to bond and connect on a deeper level. It can also help to keep the spark alive in your relationship!

The five love languages are acts of service, words of affirmation, physical touch, receiving gifts, and quality time.  Do you know which one of these fills you the most? Can you also discover the love language of your spouse? How about your children? We'll chat next about how to determine which ones are most needed in your family, and how to make the changes that will bring more harmony to your home.
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Lessons from Isolation (“Isolessons”) #1 Appreciation

Lessons from Isolation (“Isolessons”) #1  Appreciation

I have always believed that the Father wants us to learn something from where we are. Whether we learn a lesson about how we got to the place we are in (good or bad), or whether we have a life lesson that will help in the future, it’s good to take every opportunity to dig deep into growing closer to our Abba and His children.

Some of my ponderings lately have been about this isolation we are all finding ourselves in. What can we do to grow as stronger and kinder people amid the segregation?

One of the lessons I’m learning is to appreciate the people in my life. There is obviously something that can be gained from drawing closer to my family and appreciating the gifts, talents, love languages, strengths and challenges that have all been put together in one place.

Learning to Love Family is key
We have been a family that educates at home for 27 years. We are also self-employed and have fellowship with a handful of other families, so we’re already in the lifestyle of home being the base of everything we do. But through this, there is even more that can be done to draw closer and cherish family members.
Finding out what makes each person thrive, what makes them light up and become a better version of who they are, is my goal. I want to find their love language and their “body part” (1 Cor. 12) and their spiritual gifts so that I can see them come into that “a-ha!” place of, “This is me, and I love it!” Only then can the family function together at its best with everyone doing their part.

 
The same is true of those we don’t get to see right now. 
Each one of our friends and extended family has an “a-ha!” place that we need to cherish. We can use this time to figure out how to celebrate each person we know so that when we are able to see them again our relationships will be even stronger for the separation.
Be honest with yourself, do you tend to look favorably on others? Or the opposite?
I really like how 1 Corinthians 12:21 puts it, “And the eye cannot say to the hand, ‘I have no need of you”; or again the head to the feet, ‘I have no need of you.’” Sometimes we don’t understand someone else’s purpose, because it isn’t our own! But what if we were all eyes? How would we get around?

 
Ways to use this time to love other people: 
1) Study the parts of the body, the spiritual gifts, and the love languages, and figure out your friends and family so you can treat them with love the way they receive best.
2) Call people! Build them up and let them know what you like about them.
3) Look for the best in those that may irritate you, celebrate their differences!


If this "body part" idea is new to you, I'll be posting more about how to discover family and friends' strengths, gifts and body parts soon.
 
If this info is something you enjoy, you might want my guide on How to Thrive and Not Just Survive, to get that you can click HERE

I'd love to hear how you are doing in this time of isolation?  What lessons have you been learning?  You can put it in the comments.

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Loving yourself

Loving yourself
This week so many people are focused on trying to give and receive love because of the holiday coming up.
The problem is, this is one of the hardest times of the year for some people because of unmet expectations.  But it is also excruciating for some, because it is really difficult to give love to other people when you don't love yourself.  Expectations will always leave you feeling unsatisfied and irritated.

There is so much Shame in this world, we all get so under the bondage of feeling like we will never be accepted, never be loved, we are never good enough, we can't say or do anything right.  We hear that voice over and over again, then accept it as the truth.. But is it?  Did you know that a large number of people feel this way about themselves?  Even people that you would never guess.  Some are just very good at hiding it.  You are not alone!

But you can do something about it!  Tell the shame to take a hike, have someone pray over your broken heart where you've believed a lie.  Realize that you don't have to keep this to yourself.  Tell someone you trust that you feel this way.  They will tell you it isn't true.  You are loved and amazing.  You are gifted and talented.  You can do far more than you've ever given yourself credit for!  

Here is a roller-ball recipe you can make for yourself when you are struggling to recognize the good in you.
Choose 3 of the following oils, then put 5-6 drops of each in a roller ball and fill up the rest with V-6 (or another carrier oil).
Roll it on your wrists and neck when you want to kick self-hate in the pants. When you roll this on yourself and breathe it in, make sure to say something like this, "I am enough, I am loved, I am accepted"  or a Bible verse, or anything you'd like that confirms a good change of mindset.

Frankincense, Geranium, Lavender, Patchouli, Roman Chamomile, or Ylang Ylang

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If you would like to chat, or are ready for a personal healing session, click HERE

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