Are you fruit focused or seed and soil savvy?
Is your focus the fruit that is produced? Or is your focus the seed that has been planted? Or is your focus the soil that will receive the seed?

 We hunger to produce good fruit! We desire the love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self-control. We wonder why we aren’t patient; we feel shame when we aren’t gentle. But do we remember that those things come based on what we have participated in? That fruit is produced when we are filled, surrounded, taught by, and saturated in the Spirit.  They are a consequence of what we put in; they are NOT just what automatically pops out! (Galatians 5:22-23)

You don’t get patient by scrolling Facebook.
You don’t become kind from participating in gossip.
You aren’t filled with peacefulness if you’ve soaked in the latest news.

We are condemned by our words because they display the health of our hearts. (Matthew 12:33-37)
Let’s look at Matthew 13:14-17

The seed determines what grows, but if the soil isn’t healthy, then no matter how good the seed is, there will not be fruit. Our soil needs to be soft and pliable. The trampled, hard places need to be tilled. The rocky soil needs to soft and deep, the thorns and thistles need to be pulled out, if all this work isn’t done, the soil will not be ready to receive the seed.

Everyone one of these wrong hearted conditions points to someone who HEARD the Word. It wasn’t about ignoring the Word or going our own way.
 The first heart condition was a trampled, hard heart that had become insensitive, and couldn’t understand the Word that was spoken. Yeshua called this seed that had fallen by the road.
The second heart condition was the rocky, shallow soil. This person also heard the Word and even received it with joy, but affliction and persecution because of that Word stole it away.
The third heart condition was soil full of thorns. This person also heard the Word, but the worries of the world and the deceitful cares of riches choked the Word before fruit could be produced.

What we’ve learned here is that the words that come out of our mouth, and the actions we choose to display, come from so much more than just hearing the Word! If we are not hearing and seeing with understanding, then our heart is not soft enough to receive the Word, and then our heart will not be ready to turn to Him to be healed. (Isaiah 6:9-10)
An unhealed heart will always struggle to speak good words. Trying to speak good words while your heart is still wounded, is what exposes you as an actor.

Does that mean we shouldn’t care about the words that come out of our mouths? NO, there is still death and life in the power of those words. But if speaking good words is a source of shame because you just can’t do it, then we need to look deeper, there is an issue there, there is a wound, that is keeping you from authenticity!
If your heart is murky your words will be murky; to change the words, change the heart: to change the heart, change what goes into the heart; to change what goes into the heart, change what you listen to and watch; to change what you listen to and watch, seek for the hidden treasure of understanding! The soil around hidden treasure is always soft, because has been dug up and worked with!

Time to move to Proverbs 2:1-12
 To be able to have the understanding necessary to receive the seed into the soil of our heart, we need to seek for it like the hidden treasure that it is! Understanding, discernment, and wisdom come by going on a treasure hunt. We must seek for it with all that is in us! Once we have understanding, then our soil is ready to receive the Word we hear, then the things that come out of our heart based on its fullness with be the good fruit we are hungering for!

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I thought I was a horrible person...

 
Everything made me so angry inside and I couldn’t stop the screaming rages. I could hear myself say, “Just STOP!” in the middle of a fit, but I was helpless to shut my mouth. I felt like I was watching a different person react, but it was me! After a day of raging I would lay in bed hearing, “You should just shoot yourself, you’re ruining your children,” over and over in my head.

My children were afraid of me, one was cutting, one kept running away. I knew it was my fault, but I couldn’t seem to admit it. I couldn’t handle anymore guilt.


Everything seemed to cause stress, nothing was peaceful, the smallest thing would send me to my room to hide. The asthma I had since I was a little girl, that was so horrible I felt like my lungs were going to explode, was magnified by the stress and rages.

When I knew it couldn’t handle any more, it got worse. I started having miscarriages, I became allergic to everything, I was always wheezing, I had constant headaches, and all I had the energy to do was sleep.

I was sure my situation just needed more prayer, so I prayed and prayed, went to counseling, went through deliverance, but I only ended up feeling even more guilt, because I wasn’t getting better.
Then one day I began to see a connection…. when I’d eat or smell certain things I would lose control afterwards. I noticed a pattern between stressful situations and being too tired to leave my bed. I finally saw that I had been living with severe adrenal fatigue for most of my motherhood. I also realized that I had been deeply wounded by things in my childhood that I didn't even remember clearly.
It was a journey of trial and error, learning exactly what had been poisoning my body and mind every day, but gradually I discovered tools and strategies that helped me make huge strides in calming the drama in my home and heart. I learned to overcome the wounds and trauma, I learned to shut down the lies.
As my adrenals healed and my heart healed from past trauma, the suicide, depression, and asthma disappeared, and energy came back. I didn’t feel trapped inside a rampaging maniac, I felt peaceful for the first time!

I wake up now content about the day to come. I’m not worried that I’ll ruin someone’s life today! In fact, I spend my days helping others find freedom, healing, and JOY!

You are not alone, and you don’t have to feel trapped by your past, by lies you've believed, or even by physical issues like adrenal fatigue! There is a simple path to peace. If you are ready to begin, contact me!
 

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